Celebrity Zoo: Commentary on
Starring: Da Brat, Christopher Knight, Joanie Lauer, Verne Troyer, Jane Wiedlin, Marcus Schenkenberg, Adrianne Curry
1: Nobody Puts Mini-Me in A Corner, Except Himself
Episode 9- 4/03/05
It's the second-to-last day of captivity for The Surreal Life cast and they have their collective guard up. When The Surreal Times arrives and instructs them that they are in for a day at the racetrack, they suspect the truth - this fun outing is just an excuse to get them out of the house so the producers can truck in Sally Jesse Raphael and a studio audience. Imagine this - one moment, you're a tourist checking out the footprints at the Chinese Theater and the next you find yourself in Glen Campbell's house watching a bunch of semi-famous people scream at each other. Only in Hollywood! Back at the house, Jane is dressed like Michael Jackson for some reason and has a panic attack. This must have been a premonition as she would have the worst time on the show. Sally showed a clip of Da Brat referring to Jane as a "has been" and Da Brat refused to take back that accusation. Jane was devastated. I was floored. Just how delusional is Da Brat? And why does she single out Jane for that moniker when it fits most of the cast? Nobody is on this show because their career is flourishing. Jane may technically be a "has been" but many non-hip-hop fans would consider Da Brat to be a "never was." The Go-Gos basically symbolized the 80s, broke new ground for female rockers, and had enough hits to stuff a Greatest Hits album. I can't name a Da Brat song. There were some positive moments during the chat show. Joanie revealed that she feels like she had more family on the show than ever before, which was nice but sorta sad. Verne and Marcus talked about their special bond. Unfortuntely, nobody confronted the biggest has been of them all - Sally Jesse!
I hate this part of the Surreal Life season - it's pointlessly mean-spirtied. I yearn for the simple days of the original season, which was more Real World-like (which is bad enough!) and less of a manipulative, transparent, trumped-up trash-TV talk show. Do we need yet another clip to prove Adrianne knowns no shame? That Joanie is leading a pathetic front of toughness for a lonely and abused life? That Da Brat is an unapologetic anti-soc with a chip on her shoulder? They claim they're like a dysfunctional family, except that they're not a family - they are each particularly dysfunctional on his or her own merits. Don't blame the family, crazy celebrity!
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