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Celebrity Zoo: Commentary on
The Surreal Life
, Season 4

Starring: Da Brat, Christopher Knight, Joanie Lauer, Verne Troyer, Jane Wiedlin, Marcus Schenkenberg, Adrianne Curry

Episode 1: Nobody Puts Mini-Me in A Corner, Except Himself
Episode 2: Misadventures in Babysitting
Episode 3: Rancho Kook-a-munga
Episode 4: Pole-dancin' and Brady-romancin'
Episode 5: Pitchers with Self-control Problems
Episode 6: Love Comes Walking In, or Maybe It's Just Ron Jeremy in a Diaper
Episode 7: Joanie Loves Tragedy
Episode 8: An Alan Smithee Production
Episode 9: What is Sally Jesse Doing the Other 364 Days a Year?
Episode 10: Has-Been Seems to be the Hardest Word

Episode 10- 4/24/05


These final episodes tend toward the truly surreal, and this one was no exception. What you can expect - fighting, crying, drunkenness, debauchery. The episode begins with Marcus screening Chyna's call from Sean to protect her. The cast shows up for their fancy final dinner which turns into an extremely awkward affair as Jane confronts Brat over the "has been" insult and they argue. The rest of the cast sits silently, waiting for their jail sentence in the house to end. Eventually, Jane comes over and hugs Brat, which I found to be a cop out since Brat's apology was along the lines of "I'm sorry if you were offended", not a true apology. A generous Brat declares, "Chris and Jane are nice people, and I really don't care if they're washed up." The drinking at dinner continues after dinner and leads to racing around the house, sexual misconduct (Chris and Adrianne), and possible demonic possession (Joanie crawls down the hall, leading Brat to declare she will ask her family to pray for Joanie). Verne and Marcus affirm their friendship by referring to themselves as Batman and Robin. Sean calls again and upsets Joanie, who hides in a closet. Marcus goes in and comforts her. Marcus talks more in this episode than in all the other episodes put together. The next morning, the cast leaves one by one, except Chris and Adrianne who leave together, on their way to consummating their strange love. I'm just glad it's finally over.


Da Brat can't seem to handle confrontation and seems unfazed that none of her housemates have taken her side. So snotty, she seems utterly unhuggable, which is why it was so shocking that Jane broke down and hugged her. Verne's emotional outburst during the dinner was also surprising, but strangely emblematic of the fact that many of these celebrities in this season are hiding very raw insecurities underneath antisocial exteriors. They all seem to have a front going, with the exception of Adrianne, who we all wish would keep her front on for at least 24 hours in a row. Brat re-apologizes today with more sincerity. Marcus and Verne claim they will be friends for life. Jane figures she must have cried every day in that house of the Rhinestone Cowboy. The last night is a typical mindless romp of relief - no one ever eats the cake at the farewell dinner. There are third-world kids and Anna Nicole all starving out there. What the hell!?


Coolia’s final rankings:

  1. Marcus - I expected him to be vain and vacuous, but he emerged a patient and kind-hearted bloke capable of true friendship
  2. Jane - She was fun and went along with the flow, but she took things to seriously (e.g., panic attack over Sally Jesse, tantrum about directing, has-been gate)
  3. Joanie - A trainwreck, but an entertaining and open trainwreck
  4. Verne - Mostly on the sidelines, but I'll never forget his opening episode "peein' in a corner" incident
  5. Chris - I thought he'd be my favorite but I ended up finding him to be sort of arrogant and bossy, in the tradition of Erik Estrada
  6. Adrianne - She had her fun moments but overall her schoolgirl crush/diabolical plot to seduce Chris was disturbing
  7. Da Brat - Never Was, know thyself

Nerdia’s final rankings:

    1. Jane - overall she seemed the most normal and intersting to me. Liked her quirky way of dealing with the daycare kids and her kinky sex-station. Her freak-outs were melodramatic, but she gets props for stickin up for cows.
    2. Joanie - nutty as nutty is but somehow strangely honest compared to the others.
    3. Marcus - nice enough fellow - should be a mime.
    4. Christopher - not nearly as rational as he thinks he is...but at least he has nice abs. Did do some decent parenting this season.
    5. Adrianne - annoyed me with her Christopher obsession but at least she comforted the other girls when it was called for.
    6. Verne - not much there to like. A bitter butter ball.
    7. Da Brat - poor display of misguided self-righteousness.

Your thoughts?

    Read Ape Culture's commentary on Surreal Life Season 1
    Read Ape Culture's commentary on Surreal Life Season 2
    Read Ape Culture's commentary on Surreal Life Season 3


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