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Celebrity Zoo: Commentary on
The Surreal Life
, Season 4

Starring: Da Brat, Christopher Knight, Joanie Lauer, Verne Troyer, Jane Wiedlin, Marcus Schenkenberg, Adrianne Curry

Episode 1: Nobody Puts Mini-Me in A Corner, Except Himself
Episode 2: Misadventures in Babysitting
Episode 3: Rancho Kook-a-munga
Episode 4: Pole-dancin' and Brady-romancin'
Episode 5: Pitchers with Self-control Problems
Episode 6: Love Comes Walking In, or Maybe It's Just Ron Jeremy in a Diaper
Episode 7: Joanie Loves Tragedy
Episode 8: An Alan Smithee Production
Episode 9: What is Sally Jesse Doing the Other 364 Days a Year?
Episode 10: Has-Been Seems to be the Hardest Word

Episode 6- 2/20/05


Early in this episode, Chris decides, inexplicably, to accept Adrianne's advances, but she then complains he talks down to her. It's hard to watch Adrianne clumsily running through all her tricks. I'm beginning to wonder if Chris isn't stringing her along on some low-level frequency. He admits she is a disaster but surely hasn't successfully shut her down and yet refuses to "green light" her. Ron Jeremy shows up in a diaper as Cupid to introduce an evening of dating. After questioning prospective suitors, they each pick a date. Verne humorously calls himself a tripod and chooses a woman because she lets him touch her breasts. We find out Joanie hates books. Marcus like a pretty girl and a good time. Adrianne asks inane questions, and I never did understand Da Brat's question. Newlywed Jane gets to set up a fetish station as a host. She's disgusted by Adrianne's stripping behavior there and obvious ploy for Chris' attention. Adrianne cannot be subtle and knows no fear of overkill. Verne spits in the "serenity pond", and Da Brat's date drinks too much and throws up. Adrianne tries to make Chris' date uncomfortable because being a jerk is so attractive. She's too jealous. It makes her look insecure. Chris likes his date but can't be giving his phone number out. Come on. It's not like he's a former New Kid on the Block or something.


I always enjoy seeing Ron Jeremy, even if he's wearing a diaper. I'm sure it's not the most ridiculous costume he's worn in his porn career (The Devil in Miss Jones II comes to mind). Jane reveals another wacky side to her personality - she is into B&D and likes to wear latex! She's lucky she's married and doesn't have to actively participate in the surreal dating game. So far this season we've learned that Verne is a breast man, as exemplified by his sushi-nipple-rubbing in Episode 1 and by his groping of his prospective date here. Da Brat cuts to the chase, wanting to know if her prospective dates would be strong enough to pick her up and bump her against the wall during sex. I am surprised that is not one of the questions in the eHarmony personality profile. She later dismisses her date for vomiting, stating that he must not be a thug because he can't hold his liquor. He can blame Joanie for passing the Courvoisier. She's a bad influence. Adrianne's boorishness is becoming intolerable, but I have to penalize Chris for not (a) leaving the double date to go on his own and avoid Adrianne's mistreatment of his date or (b) telling Adrianne to knock it off. Chris is beginning to adopt the stand-offish air of Jordan Knight of Season 3 and it's not attractive. Maybe these two do deserve each other. The episode ends with Joanie up in the middle of the night inflating or deflating a shelf full of basketballs for reasons that are not made clear. If Chris is so busy questioning female motives, why does he not ponder the meaning of Joanie's strange nocturnal missions?

Coolia’s weekly rankings:

  1. Ron Jeremy - with no vanity and very little shame, he shoots his poison arrow through my heart
  2. Jane - a tough but concerned mistress
  3. Da Brat - she had fun, but was ultimately too hard on her date
  4. Marcus - didn't do much once again, but seemed like a nice date
  5. Joanie - drunk again and uninteresting
  6. Chris - he's starting to seem a little smug
  7. Verne - loses points for groping
  8. Adrianne - honey, if you want Chris to stop treating you like a kid, then stop acting like one

Nerdia’s weekly rankings:

  1. Jane - although spanking seems a bit much for a first date, she avoided embarrassment by not dating in this episode
  2. Da Brat - amenable to her date until he hurled - a dating no-no
  3. Marcus - almost invisible, as usual
  4. Verne - more of a sex hedgehog than the sex hedgehog
  5. Joanie - refreshingly normal on date, but bizarre nightly rituals are disturbing
  6. Chris - I am beginning to think you enjoy torturing Adrianne. You sound like a broken record with your concerns about her motives.
  7. Adrianne - grow up

Your thoughts?

Read Ape Culture's commentary on Surreal Life Season 1
Read Ape Culture's commentary on Surreal Life Season 2
Read Ape Culture's commentary on Surreal Life Season 3


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