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Celebrity Zoo: Commentary on Starring: Brigitte Nielsen; Flavor Flav; Ryan Starr; Dave Coulier; Jordan Knight; and Charo
Episode
1: Who in This House Has a Real Name?
Coolia’s Notes This episode was dullsville again. The roommates roadtripped to San Diego in a Winnebago to see Charo perform at a casino. At least Charo got a chance to shine and show she is famous for more that just stowing away on The Love Boat. Nerdia and I saw Charo's show in Vegas and were very impressed by her guitar skills, and fortunately they did show some footage of her guitar playing as well as her usual coochie coochie act. Brigitte and Ryan lose major points for showing up 45 minutes late for Charo's show. They must have missed two-thirds of it! Ryan blamed it on being on a gambling hot streak and Brigitte had no excuse. Dave expressed his opinion that they were being rude, but I wish we could have heard Charo's feelings on this snub. Jordan was hardly noticeable again, though I did get irritated when he chose to sleep in the Winnebago by himself rather than share a bed with Flav. Jordan, like Garbo, wants to be alone. He and Brigitte seem to be sleeping through large portions of the days, probably hoping to get their tour of duty over as quickly as possible. Flav was pretty inoffensive in this episode, and I felt sorry for him when Brigitte tramped around on him with one of Charo's dancers. I also felt momentarily sorry for Ryan when Brigitte brought the guy back to the room they were sharing and proceeded to try to get him into their bed. But, overall, Ryan was completely repellent in this episode. I've been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, as I thought she was decent on American Idol and I tend to feel sympathetic to the reality tv stars that are thrown into the house with the lost-their-grip-on-reality stars. Allow me to list off her offenses on this episode:
Ryan is a beast. I can't find anything redeemable about her at this point - or much that's redeemable about this show.
Nerdia’s Notes I'm almost too exhausted right now to drum up any energy required to even be bored by this week's episode. Who is this guy from Charo's act who romps with Brigitte? Will Charo fire him? We hope so. Why didn't Flavor Flav make useful with his little viking hat and ram some sense into Brigitte and Tiny-Charo-Dancer? Why is Dave trying to talk etiquette with this crew? He sounds like Dear Abby kvetching at a brothel: they don't care and he sounds ridiculous. Jordan: "so exactly what would you say you do here?" Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. So very unspecial. So little clue.
Ape Culture Weekly Ranking (from least to most annoying) 9/26/04
What would Miss Manners say about Flavor Flav's use of haberdashery during flamenco guitar performances?
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