Home | Blog | Advice | Books | Features | Food | Games & Quizzes | Holidays | Media Morph | Movies | Music | Poetry
Requiems | Store | Television | Travel | About Us | Archive


Web www.apeculture.com   


Your unauthorized biographer Melissa Rossi will later describe you thusly, noting your crush on Julian Cope as your first foray into groupieland. You're only seventeen (isn't that a Warrant song?) when you land in Liverpool and immediately latch onto Julian, the lead singer of a popular new wave band named Teardrop Explodes. You lose your virginity not to Julian, but to Michael Mooney, a boy who's in love with Julian, too. The background music is Joy Division, but it should have been, "If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with." Julian becomes hostile toward you after a while, so you head back to Portland, affecting a British accent and telling tales about all the Brit bands you met. It's not long before you find a new crush, Rozz Rezabek, lead singer of a local band called Theater of Sheep. You're sure Rozz has star power and you help him with his look and stage presence. He introduces you to Valley of the Dolls. It's the only book in his library...but he has 37 different editions. You identify with one of the heroines.

Jennifer North: the blonde goddess who survived every betrayal committed against her mangificent body except the last

Neely O'Hara: the lovable kid from vaudeville who became a star and a monster

Anne Welles: the icy New England beauty who melted for the wrong Mr. Right...an Adonis famous for his infidelity

Back to the Beginning of the Story

*Hyperbolic descriptions quoted from the blurb on my 1967 paperback edition



Ape Culture and all associated pages are
ŠApe Culture 1998-2007 and evermore.

Click here to learn about
the Ape editors' book

Check out the Ape Blog for the latest Ape Culture News and Reviews

Amazon Honor System Click Here to Pay Learn More

Free Greeting Cards from Bravenet
Retrieving an Ape Card?
Enter Card Pick-up ID below: