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You view sex as a betrayal to fans' trust so you attempt to head them off at the pass by waiting downstairs and warning girls who are on their way up. But some girls just want a piece of a Jackson, Jermaine if it’s possible, no matter what the cost. This repulses you and you start distancing yourself from your brothers on the tour. You practice your dance moves and read scripture.

You are almost 14 years old now, but you are already restless to be out from under Motown’s thumb. Records aren’t selling as well as they used to. You want creative control. Joe agrees but he is not your ally. The abuse continues. Guns get pointed at you, Joe tries to burn you, he tells you that you are worthless. When Tito becomes a father, Joe refuses him permission to fly home and see his kid. Joe is now involved with a 26 year-old Jackie fan. They have a baby. Katharine leaves and comes back a few times. Joe buys his mistress another house minutes away from the family compound.

Jermiane runs off with Berry Gordy, Jr.’s daughter. Joe forces Jermaine to choose between the Motown camp and The Jacksons. Jermaine leaves the group. You add Randy to the group to keep up the 5 part in The Jackson 5. You lead your brothers toward a disco sound and Dancin’ Machine becomes a hit. Your sound is becoming more sophisticated. You all vote to leave Motown, then fly to Epic where you get a much more lucrative deal. You embrace the Philly sound and begin to write some of your own songs (well, mostly you and Randy write the songs, your other brothers are too busy having their way with groupies).

At home you debate the Bible with Latoya, who is forbidden by Jehovah’s Witnesses to listen to your records because of their suggestive lyrics (shake it, shake it, baby!). Someone stumbles in on you with a relative and a male employee. You are nude and aroused. Your family starts to worry that you are homosexual…a big no-no in Jehovah’s Witnesses and in the Jacksons. Think of all your female fans. They keep breaking into the Jackson compound! Janet gives them home-grown tours. Your parents try to set you up with female groupies…inviting them to stay at the house. You are going through a growth spurt and are terrified that your voice is getting deep (no one will love you if you don't sing like a little kid anymore). You've got acne, a big nose and you've sprouted like a bean but strangely, your voice stays high as a kite. Rumors start that you are taking hormones to preserve your voice. Others wonder if maybe you have been castrated. You are so freaked out by your changing body that you go into seclusion for two years. When you come out, you are a changed bird. You can’t make eye-contact with anyone and you are suddenly painfully shy and obsessed with your looks. You remark that your growth spurt has "messed up your whole personality" and it seems to be true. While on tour, your brothers hire a prostitute and lock you both into your hotel room. They are afraid that your bankable sex appeal with the ladies will be threatened if you turn out to be gay. You cry and recite scripture in front of the hooker.

Do you finally realize that you are gay?

Or do you repress your sexuality and live in a tormented hell?

Back to the Beginning of the Story


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