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WHO ME GAY?

You are too attached to your Jehovah’s Witnesses roots. So you sweep all of these problems under the family rug… there’s so much under there already.

Motown is upset that you and your brothers have left their fold but they saw it coming and quietly had the name The Jackson 5 and your entire song catalog made Motown’s property. You have no rights to the songs or the name. Joe tries to sue Motown but since he signed your soul away so long ago…you have no case. Every kid in the house can now see what a putz-oid manager Joe really is and, one by one, each Jackson talent fires Joe as his/her/their managers. He is furious but powerless. He proceeds to lose all his money in bad investments.

Marlon secretly marries an 18 year old fan. Janet gets a job on Good Times. You try to date Tatum O’Neal but for two years you never even pass her a kiss. The song Enjoy Yourself is a hit but clearly no one is enjoying themselves with you.

You win a part in the movie version of the musical The Wiz, an under-rated afro-centric adaptation of The Wizard of Oz. Your family is pissed-off, thinking that maybe you might be thinking about quitting The Jacksons, as you now call yourselves, for a career in the movies.

What part did you play in The Wiz?

The Tin Man

The Scarecrow

The Wiz

Back to the Beginning of the Story

 

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