THE UNITED STATES OF VANITY FOR AFRICA
This is what USA for Africa should have been called instead of United Support of Artists for Africa. What a dumb name! What a dumb idea! As if you thought you could repeat Band-Aid (a grouping of legitimately hip acts) with your pack of has-beens and no-talent cling-ons (Latoya was still on speaking terms with Michael then). One-hundred volunteered but only 40 were mercifully chosen. And the proof is in the pudding. This pudding sucks. Years from now, the video will be painful to watch. It’s hard to believe anyone actually buys this single. ("It’s a choice we’re making/We’re saving our own lives/It’s true, we make a better day, jus you and me"). What a mass atrocity this is. Prince didn’t even show up. Lucky for him. Budding writer, Mary Ladd, did a research paper about this celebrity organization in eleventh grade. Her paper was called "Sad Songs Won’t Save Africa" and she got an A on it. Her teacher told her that her thesis was brilliant. She discovered, after hours of research, that the money raised for USA for Africa did go toward the purchase of grain and that the grain was in fact shipped to starving countries; but, because of political problems such a war-engaged leaders TRYING to starve their people to death, the grain sat in port and rotted in the rain. Getting the food to the starving people was also difficult because the roads were in horrible shape and the soldiers would steal the food along the way. According to some reports, less than a third of the food was actually eaten by starving Africans. Well…it’s the thought that counts. Unfortunately, it was your thought to insist on being showcased as without peer in the song and in the video.
You skip Live Aid. That makes sense. That event was actually good. But no Americans, Europeans or Africans were much aided by that event either.
You next album takes you two years to complete. Thriller has put unbearable pressure upon you to turn out something that will live up to its accomplishments. Is your new album:
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