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Diana Ross screwed the Supremes and you screw The Faces. It's all fodder for more Behind The Music melodrama.

You record "Tonight's The Night": The Date Rape Song. Wasn't this the shit Bug was telling Jennifer Grey before Uncle Buck came in with a chain-saw? What exactly is Britt saying to you in French? Stop trying to sing French in my ear, mole boy? You decide to put a French monologue of love in your ditty to court the elusive French audience who had heretofore found you putz-worthy. Well, to be honest, they don't mind the adultery, but they do demand a certain amount of finesse in the romantic arena. And you can't cut it. I'm not saying it's right, but I understand.

The Brits ban the song from the airwaves for the "spread your wings and let me come inside" bit. And you can't very well go back home to do promotion (what with the tax exile and all) so you make a video with Britt in your living room. This and the tabloid pictures of your jet-setting with Britt are starting to wear on everyone's nerves. You are no longer so In. Things are starting to wane in the Britt arena anyway. She goes back to work. The girl's got to earn a living and you hate to wait around for her on the movie set. You write "You're in My Heart" and dedicate it to her. She's touched. But meanwhile, you're having an affair with Susan George.

Do you break it off with Britt humanely?

What, are you kidding?

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