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OUR LIVES ARE AS SHAKY AS AN ELECTRIC GUITARIST ON THE ROOF

You get through the Torah reading fine but you shock the crowd during your speech by declaring you don't like being a Jew. You say you feel discriminated against. This won't be the first time you shock people onstage--later it will be for wearing pants with holes that reveal your butt cheeks. While many are shocked, some applaud your courage to speak honestly and openly about your pain (and your butt cheeks). Meanwhile, back at high school, you form a band called...

Mammoth

Red Ball Jets

Portnoy's Complaint

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