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This man just saved your pathetic little life. And you actually appreciate it. You decide you owe a big debt to this chef and his compadres and you stay in Argentina and become a missionary to the cause of football, bringing soccer camps to the poverty-stricken corners of Argentina where....its.....already.....there. You whip the Argentineans into such a soccer frenzy that they start killing people when they loose games. You become one of many soccer martyrs when you are killed after one of many murderous soccer rampages. Allegedly, the soccer ball you kick out into the crowd during a concert beheads the wife of the insurgent general's mistress. You are hunted all the way into your bathroom where you are quivering with a bottle of valium. The insurgent general demands that you pay your outstanding Argentinean restaurant bills and then beheads you. Your spiky haired scalp becomes the symbol of the revolution.

The End.

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