Home | Blog | Advice | Books | Features | Food | Games & Quizzes | Holidays | Media Morph | Movies | Music | Poetry
Requiems | Store | Television | Travel | About Us | Archive


Web www.apeculture.com   


You're not able to seduce the blonde and bronzed Siegfried or the equally bronzed but stumpy Roy. They only have eyes for their white tigers. Still, they like you enough to hire you as a showgirl and you dance with wild beasts six nights a week and two matinees. That is, until the fateful night when you convince Siggy and Roy to let you play a song during the show. The opening chords of "Violet" send one of the tigers into a rage and he leaps off his glittery platform and lands on top of you. The audience shrieks and runs for the exits, except for one intrepid tourist who whips out his camcorder and makes a tape he'll later sell to Hard Copy and Faces of Death VI for big bucks. You're numb. Is that your arm lying on the ground? "I'll never play guitar again, unless I learn to play with my feet like that guy with no arms who once got to play for the Pope," you think, and that bizarre thought is your final one, as the tiger charges at you again and his claws rip into your flesh.


Back to the Beginning of the Story



Ape Culture and all associated pages are
ŠApe Culture 1998-2007 and evermore.

Click here to learn about
the Ape editors' book

Check out the Ape Blog for the latest Ape Culture News and Reviews

Amazon Honor System Click Here to Pay Learn More

Free Greeting Cards from Bravenet
Retrieving an Ape Card?
Enter Card Pick-up ID below: