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Come Sail Away,
Rock Cruise Haiku

By Mary Ladd & Julie Wiskirchen

Vacation with Journey, Styx and REO Speedwagon! Clear Channel Entertainment recently unveiled the latest and greatest in 70s & 80s entertainment: cruise ship concerts. Apparently “Journey, REO and Styx have agreed to this once in a lifetime experience for you, but space is extremely limited and cabins will be filled on a first-come, first-served basis. Relive some of the best days of Rock & Roll while you get up-close and personal with the bands.”

We have designed these commemorative haikus for this unprecedented occasion.

Journey takes cruise. Is
Neil Schon fat enough? Now he
gets 8 meals per day?

I played shuffleboard
with Dennis de Young* on the
lido deck. That rocked.

He who sings like Steve
but looks like Yanni took the
last dry buffet plate.

Jonathan Cain sobs.
It's not Behind the Music.
Just bad Keno debts.

Mr Roboto
bellyflopped in pool. Ten fans

Lido deck at Noon -
Kevin Cronin seminar:
"Big Hairstyles for Hits"

I'm gonna keep on
lovin' you. At least until
the boat docks, baby.

Bernie Kopell to
the pool bar! Tommy Shaw choked
on a stale corn nut.

Grandpa brawls with Neil
Schon: mistook broken guitar
string for fishing line.

Snorkeled today. Now
when Styx sings “Come Sail Away”;
it’s – womp wah wah wah.

Cheap cabins sold out.
Potheads I met at Journey
show years back still broke.

Rock stars play it cool,
tell Gopher it was their wives
who wanted to go.

Ports o' call include
Geographic Rock hot spots:
Chicago, Boston

Captain Stubing at
Journey Q&A: “just what
are the lovin' things?”

Whoa. I can’t fight this
feeling any longer. Please
Hand me that bucket.

*Note: although Dennis de Young is not included in the band Styx currently, we decided to take this opportunity to make fun of him anyway.

Click here to take the cruise.

Mockery. We can't help it.
Read where we make fun of John Mellencamp here
Look, we've made fun of Journey before, here
And here is where we make haiku fun of many heavy metal stars

More poetry

What band would you like to be trapped on a cruise ship with? Is it even humane to trap rock stars in contained spaces with their fans? Send us your ku-thoughts.


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