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Movies of the Apes

Movie Reviews
Art Haarper's Movie Reviews for
Retired Persons
He's retired and he's got time on his hands. These movie reviews are not
only for retired folk, but hellion rug rats such as yourself.
Art Haarper's Video and Late
Show Recommendations for Geezers
Caustic Acrostic Movie Reviews
Poetic reviews of current films
Caustic Acrostic Video Reviews
Poems you can take with you to the video store
Dead Zombies of the Heart
Ape Culture's horror movie expert, Mary Ladd, lists her favorite horror
flicks, breaking the genre down into categories ranging from "Ghosts
that Hate You and the Buildings You Live in" to "Scary Toys."
Movies-A-Go-Go
Video Rental ideas for the nondiscriminating;including "Trilogy of
Terror", "River's Edge", "Phantasm 2", "Runaway.",
"Girls Just Want to Have Fun", "Psych-Out", "The
Eyes of Laura Mars", and "Independence Day".
Movie Features
2004 Holiday Movie Preview
- Mike Calahan takes us through the newest releases this holiday season,
including a Michael Moore expose of Santa Claus and an epic family heartwarmer,
The Donner Party.
Eight is Enough Meets
The Amityville Horror
by Julie Wiskirchen: She watched Amityville Horror one afternoon and found
herself profoundly disturbed by James Brolin's resemblance to Barry Gibb.
That was the genesis of this bloodbath of dysfunction.
Honey, I Shrunk Emmanuel
Lewis
Webster just got small.
How to Attend a Film Festival
for Free
Canine Helga S. Ladd reports on the Palm Springs Film Festival. Her report
includes a scandalous and scathing expose on the very co-editor of the
fine rag.
A Mother's Day Extravaganza with
Christina Crawford
A review of a charity screening of Mommie Dearest
Note to Harrison Ford: You Can Go
Back to Building Bookshelves Now
A fan decides the pleasure of seeing Harrison without his shirt isn't
worth the pain of sitting through drivel like Random Hearts and What Lies
Beneath
Palm Springs Film Festival
2003
Christopher Brisson covers the 2003 Palm Springs Film Festival, seeing
approximately 10 films in two days.
Some People Call Me The Horse
Whisperer; Some Call Me The Prince of Tides
You don't believe us, punks? Go see for yourself! Exhaustive research
will prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that our research is surprisingly
extensive.
When Celebrity Obsessions Attack!
Tammy Wynette sang "Stand By Your Man" in tribute to her abusive
alcoholic husband George Jones. But even Tammy eventually dumped the jerk.
Julie Wiskirchen ponders whether or not she can stay loyal to her primary
obsession, Jack Nicholson, as he faces accusations of beating a prostitute.
Inhabiting Oz
Shelley Blake discusses reality vs. fantasy and her love of the movies
and John Cusack.
Award Shows
2001 Golden Globes
Review
Liz Taylor's performance recalled the work of Susan Olsen in the classic
"Cindy paralyzed by the red light on the quiz show" episode
of The Brady Bunch
2002 Golden
Globes Awards Chat Room Review
The Ape Gang tries to figure out who the Hollywood Foreign Press really
are and ends up getting blitzed playing the "everybody drink when
somebody thanks Dreamworks" drinking game.
Kinder, Gentler
Coverage of the 2003 Golden Globes Awards
Ape Culture's Oscar
Review 2000
Our shallow take on the year's most s-hallowed event.
Ape Culture Chats
about the 2001 Oscars
We want to know more than the winners. We want to know why Benicio Del
Toro is sitting next to some ugly guy instead of one of us.
Still Wild and Crazy
After All These Years
Mary Ladd muses on Steve Martin latest incarnation: Oscar host
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